I’m sitting outside my doctor’s office with thoughts of the morning swirling through my head.
I find myself wistful. Longing for a do-over. Another chance to just be.
It wasn’t a bad morning. In fact, as mornings go it was quite pleasant.
Mellow.
Quiet.
But what if this was our last morning as a family of three?
What if I go into this doctor’s appointment and find out that my life changes today. Forever.
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That Dan and Joshua’s lives change, too.
It’s these kinds of thoughts, the knowledge that these days are numbered, that have me hugging Joshua a little more tightly and often.
Drowning him with kisses.
Watching him as he plays.
Studying his face and noticing the ever so gradual, blink-and-you’ve-missed-it, way he’s turned from a tiny little bundle of lungs and poop into my sweet, sweet boy.
My Joshua.
I hope he knows the enormity of my love. Always.
Sigh.
I remember this feeling.
The day before my Csection I had an Eddie and Mommy Day. And I cried through nap time.
As it turns out, now that Charlie is here, Eddie is even MORE of a momma’s boy. It’s like he can’t get close enough to me.
But it’s hard to think of when you’re on the verge of a huge life change.
Know that he loves you. His love for you is bigger than you can possibly know. YOU are his whole world.
I tear up just about daily thinking about how much I love that boy. Like right now.
Beautfiul post. I haven’t been there yet, but I am sure I will be feeling very similar when September approaches!
Treasure the time you have. Love on your little one. A lot.
Thanks for the reminder to enjoy the time I have now. Noah turned 1 yesterday, and already I’m looking back on the past year and thinking, “Where did it go?!”
It’s crazy how fast the time goes. Crazy. Savor what you have.
I haven’t posted in a while but this enormity of LOVE thingy has me remembering alot about when my children where little. Oh Miss chatterbox (that’s Miranda in case you didn’t know) where did you go? One day you are my beautiful little girl and then 30 years later you are a beautiful woman, mother, and wife. Oh how time flies…..I am so emotional right now I don’t know if I can even finish, but as the years pass this enormity, grows into enormous and your heart swells with love, fear, anxiety,as you watch your children grow. I’ve always had comfort knowing you had a GOOD head on your shoulders, and that you understood the consequences of decisions you made. As I sit here and read of your love for Joshua, my heart aches for the love of my son, I remember him being a mama’s boy and how I couldn’t wash the dishes without him being between me and the sink, or how I couldn’t take a bath because he would cry, and then he grew up! Thank you sweet girl of mine for being such a wonderful daughter, friend, mother and wife..I am SO proud of you and you will rock this second time around. Cherish every moment you have for one day they will be gone. I love you!
I’m still a chatterbox. I’m just an older, sort of wiser one now.
And my heart aches for your son, too, Mama. Every day.
I love you.
My heart just swelled a bit. This is beautiful. Number two isn’t even in the works for a year and I find myself wondering these same things. When did my sweet baby turn into a boy? I thought I’d been there the whole time. How did I miss it?
I don’t know how I missed it, Lindsay. I swear I was here! But every day he wakes up and he’s just a little more grown and I’m just a little more happy-sad.
There are so many crazy and conflicting feelings going through our heads as we’re so close to bringing home a second baby, aren’t there? Part of me is so excited to introduce my little guy to his new baby sibling, but the other part of me will miss the perfection of our family right now.
I’m there with you. I get it.
Good luck in the coming days/weeks!
I totally understand what you’re saying. This thing we’ve got with just the three of us is pretty fantastic. I know she’ll round things out, but yeah, I’m nervous.