I’m sitting outside my doctor’s office with thoughts of the morning swirling through my head.
I find myself wistful. Longing for a do-over. Another chance to just be.
It wasn’t a bad morning. In fact, as mornings go it was quite pleasant.
But what if this was our last morning as a family of three?
What if I go into this doctor’s appointment and find out that my life changes today. Forever.
That Dan and Joshua’s lives change, too.
It’s these kinds of thoughts, the knowledge that these days are numbered, that have me hugging Joshua a little more tightly and often.
Drowning him with kisses.
Watching him as he plays.
Studying his face and noticing the ever so gradual, blink-and-you’ve-missed-it, way he’s turned from a tiny little bundle of lungs and poop into my sweet, sweet boy.
I hope he knows the enormity of my love. Always.