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Taking charge

Tomorrow is the first of the last doctor’s appointments I’ll have with my current OB. But not because I’m close to the end of my pregnancy with New Girl. (Even though technically, no matter how much I want to deny its approach, the end IS growing nigh.)

Tomorrow is the first of the last because at 28 weeks pregnant I’ve decided to switch care providers and hospitals.

After my last appointment, the one with Dr. Blowhard, unease grew in my belly almost as rapidly as New Girl has. I’ve played that appointment over and over in my head trying to figure out if I read things in the doctor’s words that he didn’t intend. In short, I just don’t think I did.

Last Tuesday I called my current OB’s office to ask a simple question–what happens if the doctor I do not want to see, Dr. Blowhard, is on call when I go into labor?

The receptionist didn’t have an answer. In fact, she seemed downright puzzled. Like she understood the idea that some women may prefer not to see certain doctors but no one had ever questioned the on-call practices before.

She referred me to the office manager.

He never called me back.

That was my sign.

Despite any reassurances I may have gotten from the doctor, my doctor, whose name is on the door, I know that staying with this practice will greatly inhibit my ability to VBAC this baby and for reasons I’ll explain in another post (one that isn’t being typed on my phone while I’m “coaching” at a high school basketball game) I desperately want to VBAC this baby.

I think in some ways I’ve known this entire pregnancy that a VBAC was made less likely by staying where I am right now. By staying comfortable.

I think I’ve tried to rely on naïveté to get me through this delivery when that’s anything but my usual approach to unknown situations. I’m not one to fly into the big things lightly.

And this, y’all, is a really big thing.

So last week I called the most highly recommended OB for VBAC mamas in the area and, with few questions asked, I became his new patient.

When the receptionist asked why I was seeking a transfer, I told her, simply, that I wanted to VBAC. There was no scoffing at my wishes or condescension for my desires. When I told her how far along I was, there was no balking, no “oh, we don’t take patients that far along.” No excuses.

There were no questions asked at all.

There was only acceptance.

So tomorrow I’ll wake up, shower, drink that orange drink they gave me at the last appointment, and drive myself to the office for the blood draw. And on Thursday I’ll go back to discuss the results. And as long as I passed the one-hour test when I check out I’ll turn in my request for a transfer of my medical records to a new practice. One with a doctor who believes in the kind of delivery I want–a delivery concerned not solely with the outcome of a healthy baby but also in the process of helping mothers–helping me–have the birth others tell them is unlikely or impossible.

One in which I am not labelled a failure no matter the outcome.

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Tuesday 31st of January 2012

I am so glad that you have switched practices. I have been following your story and have been thinking of you and hoping so very much that you would find an environment that makes you feel comfortable and give you the best possible chance of having a VBAC. Reading your posts about your experiences at the first practice made my blood boil. I can not wait to continue to learn about your story, and am rooting for you all the way! Your strength inspires me.


Wednesday 1st of February 2012

Thanks so much for your kind words!


Sunday 29th of January 2012

I am SO glad you are going with your gut and standing up for the birth you want! Go YOU!

And if emergencies happen, you will at least know in your heart that you did everything you possibly could to VBAC.

Here is to a quick labor and quick pushing and no complications with your new doc! WOOT TO NEW GIRL!


Wednesday 1st of February 2012

That's exactly one of the things that makes me feel so much more comfortable. If I end up with a c section this time, it will be because this doctor truly thinks it's what's best for me and not because it's what's best for him. I haven't even met the guy yet and I already trust his opinion over that of my current doctors simply because of his reputation.


Wednesday 25th of January 2012

Best of luck, Miranda . . . it sounds like the new place is going to be much less stress, if for the simple reason that they want to give you what you want, and that's a beautiful thing.

Elizabeth Flora Ross

Wednesday 25th of January 2012

Good for you! That is awesome. As patients we have to be proactive and assertive and stand up for ourselves. It's sad but true. Kudos to you for knowing what you want and standing up for it. :)


Wednesday 1st of February 2012

It's weird how empowered I feel about this birth now just by making this decision. I don't doubt much now.

Jen @ Dear Mommy Brain

Wednesday 25th of January 2012

That is great! So happy for you and sending you good VBAC vibes!


Wednesday 1st of February 2012

Thanks! Good vibes are always welcome!

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