Oh hi there, people. I’m slowly but surely wrapping my head around the weekend that was BlogHer. But first, or last, (but not least) I have a guest post for you from Alison at Mama Wants This.
Mama Wants this started her blog less than a year ago and has really jumped in head-first. If you don’t know Alison, you should. She’s maybe one of the most supportive bloggers I’ve ever met.
Some of the lessons she’s writing about today are the same lessons I’ve learned from Joshua. And some of the things she lists about her son are some of the things I missed most about Joshua while I was gone.
Enjoy!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Before I became a mother, I thought I more or less knew it all. At least, what I needed to know. I was nearly 33, had worked successfully for 10 years and could kick serious ass, if required.
Little did I know, that a child, one of my own making, would be teaching me a few things.
Here are some of the lessons I learnt from my son.
Patience
I’m possibly one of the most impatient people I know. I cannot stand it when people walk a step too slow in front of me; I get annoyed at cars that don’t go immediately when the traffic light turns green; I hate watching wait staff at restaurants take their time to get to me. Yes, I’m THAT impatient.
Patience as defined by Wikipedia: state of endurance under difficult circumstances, persevering in the face of delay without acting on annoyance or anger.
Since I became a mother, I’ve learnt to grin and bear it when he takes 30 minutes to finish his lunch, after 15 minutes of negotiating with him on what he: wants or does not want to eat/ tosses Cheerios all over the carpet/ pees on the floor/ draws on himself and his clothes with a marker/ runs away from me when I try to dress him/ sits on the potty for 20 minutes and nothing to show for it/ changes his mind a hundred times about everything from a TV program to what book he wants to read.
Multitasking
I did think this was one thing I was very good at, before I was a mother. I could juggle 5 tasks at work – return emails while I was in on the phone in a teleconference, drinking coffee, eating a snack and checking Facebook.
What? That’s NOT multitasking?
No, Alison, it is not. It’s called slacking at work. Multitasking is when you rock a baby to sleep on one arm, whilst simultaneously making yourself a cup of tea, and cleaning the kitchen counter tops all at the same time. Then proceeding to do a myriad of chores with one hand and ensuring the baby is safely sleeping on your other arm, and not awakened by your activities.
It also means blogging, Facebooking and tweeting while sitting on the throne in the bathroom, in those precious 5 minutes you manage to get away ALONE.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
It’s true, I don’t get to do my monthly facials. Or get my hair cut every two months. Or my manicures/ pedicures every 3 weeks. I don’t get to shower longer than 2 minutes. Or go to the toilet by myself. I don’t wear my beloved high heels anymore. Or my treasured rings, necklaces and earrings. I barely even remember to wear my wedding band and engagement ring. I don’t get to sleep in. I am mostly in clothes that are comfortable rather than fashionable. I have stretchmarks. And cellulite.
I would have sweated all those things before.
Now? I have better, more important things to focus on.
A child’s laughter.
His bright smile.
Chunky legs that run like the wind.
Small hands clutching crayons.
Toddler-talk and words that only make sense to him and I.
Quiet moments on my lap, his hand holding mine.
Wet baby kisses.
Sleepy cuddles and snuggles.
The most important lessons I’ve learnt from my son?
Be in the moment. Be present. Celebrate all things big or small. Be happy. Be grateful.
Thank you Miranda, for allowing me the privilege to share my words here in your space.
Thank you for letting me into your home, Miranda! I loved writing this post. 🙂
Ah Alison, what a wonderful post! You sound a hell of a lot like me . . . although I am still working on the whole patience thing as it does not appear to come naturally to me at all!
Kidlets really do remind you to just take a moment and drink it in.
Jenn, I’m still learning to be patient with slow drivers and waiters, but with my son, it comes easier!
Ahhh this patient thing….when you get grand children it starts allllll over again. My life at this moment is just like all of yours, and you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve raised my two children and now I’ve started a family all over again with my granddaughter. Mother hood and Nana hood!!!!
And from this comment, I just know you’re a wonderful Nana 🙂
I love Alison!
Great post. And the patience thing? Yes, that’s me. I’ll lose my cool at someone walking too slowly but when my children take an hour to eat lunch? I’ll sit there and giggle with them through it all. It’s amazing how much our kids really teach us once we become a mother.
Thank you Kim! Could we be more alike? 🙂 xo
Thank you so much for writing this! It is exactly what I needed to read today. I know I lose my patience with my 3 year old very quickly (and with other people too, admittedly) and I need to just slow down and pay attention to her when she needs it. I see her imitate a lot of things I do and it helps show me some things I need to work on. Hopefully, I will remember this post whenever I feel myself tense up. 🙂 Thanks!!!
Amy, nothing makes me happier to know that my words have helped someone. Thank you for reading!
Hiiii Alison!
Such important things, and I can relate to so much (like the patience, OMG I have none. less than none).
But that list of gorgeous mama-baby things. So much love there that the rest of it just doesn’t seem as important, right?
Hi Angela! The mama-baby things? Make everything worth it. And everything else doesn’t matter.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
I have a three year old and know all of this EXACTLY. Wearing jewelry, regular facials, long showers… what? It all seems like a past life. But such a less important life than the one I’m trying to live now. 🙂
PS- now I will always picture you in the bathroom typing when I read your comments or tweets.
Jenni! Thanks for swinging by. Yes, all those things seem so….long ago. And much less important. And you’re welcome, for the bathroom visual 🙂
I think that patience has been the hardest thing for me to learn, too. When my almost 3 year old takes 45 minutes to get ready to take a bath, I really just want to yank my hair out. It’s amazing what kind of lessons these little bitty people can teach us. 🙂
Hi Courtney!
Ah, you’ve got a long bather (I totally made that up). Fortunately, my son realizes there are far more important things to do (like run around nekkid after a bath, pull all the books off the bookshelf etc) than stay in the bath. But he takes an hour to finish a meal sometimes (hair pulling worthy). Yes, these precious lessons!
yes. be in the moment. that is a huge one. i have to re-learn that lesson every day. thankfully i have 2 teachers who are IMPOSSIBLE to ignore! great post.
Thank you Christine!
This is absolutely lovely. I too thought I could multi-task, but no. I’m still learning. Although now I know how you have time to leave so many awesome blog comments.
Thank you! Sometimes, I don’t do so well with the multitasking. Hygiene standards (mine) have been known to slide occasionally in favor of blogging *ahem*.
What a wonderful post. I am still working on that patience thing, and he’s about to turn 5. It’ll kick in soon, right? I’m so impatient waiting on my patience. 😛
Thank you Roxanne. Hehe, impatient for the patience 🙂 Yes it’d happen – soon-ish! 🙂
Aww! Very sweet. Great lessons!
Thank you 🙂
Thank you!
Chunky legs! Yes!!
I hear you on the new realm of multitasking that motherhood has provided. I look back and think that I could have gotten SO MUCH more done back then. Crazy!! Great post! 🙂
Jen @ World Moms Blog 🙂
Thank you for coming by to read Jen. It’s true, I look back and think, I wish I knew I actually can multitask!
Oooh, this was so beautiful and touching. I love seeing this side of you Alison! There’s some things I miss too. I hardly wear makeup anymore, but it’s because Donut is always touching and kissing my face. That’s worth no makeup any day!
Aw thank you Rach! Ah yes, makeup. Same here, Monkey loves to give me sloppy kisses, so no make up it is!
Wonderful post – You have certainly learned what’s important! …and it’s amazing how much you can multi-task!
Thank you Ann, for your continual support, kindness and friendship 🙂
Patience…UGH! I swear sometimes while I’m waiting for my boys to get ready I start to feel my eyelids twitch from lack of patience. It’s one of the hardest aspects of parenthood for me.
Oh and just so you don’t feel alone, I just answered a few emails while in the bathroom today! 🙂 A mama’s gotta do, what a mama’s gotta do!
Oh we mamas are awesome at multitasking!! Patience is the hardest for me, truly. But we get better day by day.
You are such a conscientious mother.
Please remember how I can see how your heart is in your son’s life, every minute.
You can’t hide your adoration for him..It seeps through all your posts.
He is one beloved child.
Also? I’ve got a lump in my throat, because my lap holding days are over.
My lap is now empty.
It was once warm with a fuzzy headed boy , and it’s now empty.
You lucky woman, you.
This was so very true.
I am lucky, so lucky. It’s writers like you Alexandra, that remind me constantly how fleeting our children’s childhoods are. How we must treasure every moment. It’s because of women like you that I’m conscientious.
And I do adore him. He’s my heart.
I would be happy to loan you my boy for your lap. Any day.
This is quite possibly one of the most beautiful posts about motherhood that I’ve ever read. You have such a gift for words, Alison. Your son is so very lucky to have you. I love this post and I’m sharing it with every mom I know.
Janice, thank you so much for your kind sweet words. It means so much to me that you love it! This is why I write. 🙂
Patience and multi-tasking certainly takes on new meanings with little ones about! My multi-tasking resume is building. Am typing this comment with one hand at snail’s pace while my 7 month old sleeps in the other arm and keeping an eye on the other 2 kids finishing dinner!
The one thing that bothers me is smelling like milk, sweat and food at the end of the day, but I’m trying not to sweat that, as you say ….. the precious little years are too good to spend moaning over my personal hygiene! Thanks Alison for this post – it reminds me of all I truly cherish!
Thanks so much for coming by here and reading!
I’ve already tuned out all the smells lol
how I love your words about what parenting has taught you, I too, have learned lots and lots of lessons from my little guys…about how to be a better person, patience and multitasking , just like you.
while I get to wear my jewelry and high heels, I think our hearts are the same, we just want what is best for our family, and many times that means giving up small parts of ourselves to do it, the price always outweighing the cost. xo
Kir, you always say it better than I ever could. Thank you for reading. xo
I love the lessons that your child has taught you… this was a beautiful post!
Thank you Aleta!
Stretch marks and cellulite, Amen! I love your Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff section. Our children have taught us valuable lessons, haven’t they?
Thank you Bruna! And yes they have, so much more than I expected.
Awwww, how beautiful this post is. At least you are realizing the importance of taking each moment in, because life passes us so quickly. And you’re absolutely right NOT to stress the small things. In the grand scheme of things: they just don’t matter.
XOXO
Thank you Charlotte. Yes, the small things? All too small to worry about.
Uh, you tweet from the throne?! That explains a lot 😉
This is so beautiful, Alison! And I’m so glad to hear you’re not patient either. I still don’t have enough patience.
Haha, sometimes, just sometimes. 🙂
And thank you Robin! Yes, patience is not one of my virtues. I still struggle with it!
This is poetic – beautiful.
Thank you Jennie.