I am crazy tired. Because I’m crazy busy.
I feel like there are a million things going on in my life right now and I am drowning under the emotional weight of them all.
Ever since that plane from San Diego landed, which feels like a freaking eternity ago, I have been go-go-go. Cheer practice started on the first day of school. I’m trying (and failing) to go to the gym regularly to try and maintain some sort of cardiovascular health so I don’t turn into Jabba the Hut. My Gifted Endorsement classes started last week and assignments are due every Thursday by midnight. Every routine doctor’s appointment I have falls in August. (They used to be in July. And then you have to wait +1 day, so eventually they all ended up in August.)
I still don’t know the names of all of the kids in my classes. It took me a solid WEEK to teach a short story that I can normally teach in 2 days.
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I just can’t seem to find my motivation this year. Or my energy.
I feel like my productivity is stuck in one giant log-jam of funk.
And yet I know that if there were nothing going on and my To-Do list were totally clear, I’d still feel discontentment. Unrest. A lack of peace.
So, maybe Hamlet’s words are appropriate after all and there’s the rub.
Maybe you just need time to get back in the swing of things. I think missing most of the first week makes the adjustment much harder – particularly with the names. Maybe once things settle in for you, you’ll get your mojo back.
Or maybe not. And maybe that’s okay too. Maybe things won’t go back to normal because there’s a new normal, and you just need to figure out what that is. So try to enjoy every short story, every cheer practice, every paper you have to write, and then if you change directions do it without regret.
I hope I get my mojo back. I hope. Because this not-being-in-the-mood for teaching is hard.
I’m a firm believer that it’s better to be busy than bored . . . because, with bored, comes discontentedness. But, yeah, when you’re that busy, for that long, the border between “busy” and “sane” is drawn, and sometimes violated.
Hang in there.
I’m totally feeling violated right now. But I can do anything when I know it’ll end. And I know this will end. Eventually. I hope.
Hey Miranda,
I’m a long time reader, first time commenter. Just wanted to say that a) I love your blog! and b) I have the funk too. Do you think it’s contagious? More importantly, do you think it’s curable?
Best,
Andrea
Hi Andrea! Welcome to my crazy!
I do think the funk can be contagious, which is why I try not to write too much when I’m in a funk. I don’t want to give my readers a case of the funk. And? Yes, curable. Definitely. With sleep. And booze. And maybe shoe shopping.
I’m struggling to find my footing as well and school hasn’t even started yet. My oldest just started soccer practice and we are trying to get re-acclimated to some sort of schedule. I fell so off!
Hopefully it will end soon and we can both find our groove!