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To Caitlin, on her wedding day

Yesterday was my wedding anniversary. I am by no means an expert on being married. But so far, we’re both still alive, so that’s something right?

As I write this, I’m traveling up the interstate to just beyond my hometown where my cousin is getting ready to make the same walk down that aisle that I made in 2006. She stood by me that day not knowing that it would be so soon that she’d make this walk herself.

She is young. Some would even say too young. And in some ways, I’m inclined to agree. But I know that she’s made a good choice, a solid, strong choice in perfect others. I know she’s chosen someone who loves her unconditionally.

So today, instead of being like those who say she shouldn’t get married because…and because…and because… I’m choosing to support her and be happy. And give her the best advice I can think of to help her start her new life. I hope that after reading this, you’ll share your words of wisdom too.


Today is your day. You’ve planned and planned and thought about this for quite a while. I hope it is everything you want it to be and then some. But more than just hoping today is what you want it to be, I hope the rest of your life is what you want it to be.

I hope you have patience when moments are trying. And there will be moments that try your patience.

I hope you have grace for Ben when he needs it. He is not perfect. I hope he has grace for you, too. You are not perfect either.

I hope you have forgiveness when you feel wronged. And I hope you have apologies ready when you are the one who does the wronging.

Communicate with each other. Talk about everything. The big things and especially the little things.

Listen to each other. Really hear what the other is saying.

Be content to be in each other’s silence. Be content to just be.

Do not be quick to anger and harsh words when you are upset. Hold hands when you fight and it will be impossible to fight.

I hope you laugh together. Always, always laugh.

Tackle your problems together.

Experience life together.

Love together.

Times will be difficult and you probably feel like you are fighting the world right now to prove that this is going to last.

Make it last, Caitlin and Ben. Make it last by being in this together.

I love you both.


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Kim Allen

Sunday 29th of May 2011

After almost 21 years of marriage, I agree. Well said. I like the holding hands when fighting part. ;o) Take care Miranda! Give Dan and Joshua a big hug from us!!


Sunday 29th of May 2011

Wise, wise words my dear, and not just for newly weds! Congrats to your cousin :D


Saturday 28th of May 2011

I love your advice to hold hands when you fight. I have always liked the "fight naked" directive. one stays angry long, and even as you disagree, you have a smile on your face and a laugh on your lips. It also facilitates the making up part...

Best wishes and much, much happiness to you! (And I love Miranda...that is all...)



Saturday 28th of May 2011

this is beautiful, Miranda.

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