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It took a lot

May 25, 2011 by Miranda 8 Comments

Hey y’all. I’m still on a Glee-induced high from last night. (Yes, my drug of choice is 20somethings pretending to be high school students singing Broadway-esque songs. It’s totally true.)

My friend Lindsay? Hasn’t watched last night’s season finale yet to be sufficiently Glee-high with me. But if she’s a hopeless romantic in the same way I am? She’ll love it.

Oh, wait…what? This isn’t about Glee? Sorry. Sometimes I have to be reminded that Glee isn’t real life.

We’re still rallying for mental health month, y’all!

Lindsay’s not a mom. But non-moms suffer from mental health issues, too. They do. And Lindsay very courageously agreed to talk to you about what it’s taken for her to feel like things are getting better. This isn’t even something that she feels like she can share on her own blog.

Love on her, okay?

______________________________________________________________________________________

It took a lot for me to get to where I am now.

A lot of years of unsuccessful therapy. A lot of years of unsuccessful medication. A lot of money. A lot of tears and frustrated phone conversations with my (amazingly supportive) parents. A lot of struggles in work life and a lot of failed relationships. A lot, to be honest, of hell.

It took an ignorant and insensitive social worker, who I’d been meeting with for a couple of months, to make a “diagnosis” (which she was medically unqualified to make). It took that bogus diagnosis, and her advice to pack up my life, forget about my goals for the near future, and move into residential treatment.

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It took my so-called “therapist” to give up on me, after only a couple months of treatment. It took her not even calling me to check in after that session, after I walked out in tears.

It took all of that for me to look outside the box and figure out what it was that I really needed– and to see that things weren’t going to get better unless I truly put the effort into fixing things myself as well.

It took me reaching out to @postpartumprogr and @marymac for last-ditch advice, and embracing it when Mary told me to try DBT- a newer form of therapy, often used for people with borderline personality disorder or serious addictions (neither of which I have). It took finding a therapist who would practice DBT one-on-one, even though it’s normally in a group, and who would work with me twice a week, even though my move back to California was scheduled for a mere three months later. It took a therapist who finally realized that although I have a high IQ, I have major ADD– and who pushed me to get both a neuropsych exam to diagnose it and the medications to help fix it.

It took a lot to get me to this point.

This point where I feel like things are manageable. Where I feel like, yes, it’s chaotic and crazy, but that’s life. And shit happens… but I can deal with it when it does. I’m only halfway through the DBT manual, and still have a lot of therapy ahead of me. My meds aren’t at the right doseage, I’m sleeping on the floor because I’ve sold my bed, and I’m moving across the country in 8 days… without a job.

But now, that’s not so overwhelming. I can find a job. I’ll have my parents 30 minutes away, instead of a 6-hour flight away. I’ll make friends in LA. I’ll nurture the relationships I already have there. I’ll find a job, even if it’s working the line at Starbucks, and I will keep the job, because I’m getting better.

It’s taken a hell of a lot to get here, but I can finally– FINALLY– say that I’m starting to fix things. And that it does, truly, get better.

______________

I think it’s so, so brave of Lindsay to talk about her experience here, even if this is just a glimpse. Talking about mental illness is hard.I <3 you and your super artsy ways, Lindsay. Can’t wait to hug your face someday.

Lindsay writes the blog Linz Loves You. Her professional site, where she displays her awesome skills at writing and graphic design and social media awesome can be found here. You can also follow her on Twitter.

Filed Under: Mental Health

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. story says

    May 25, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    You are so amazing. I can’t imagine how much strength it takes to not give up when nothing works, and then to turn it around into something good to help other people. I’m trying not to sound condescending but I just want to love on you like you were one of my students. ::HUGS::

    Reply
    • Linz says

      May 25, 2011 at 9:51 pm

      Not condescending at all. Thank you! I so appreciate the support and the lovin’ on! It’s people like you that helped me not give up, ya know?

      Reply
  2. Katherine at Postpartum Progress says

    May 25, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    Go Lindsay!!

    From, @kathlovesyou 😉

    Reply
    • Linz says

      May 25, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      love youuuu <3

      Reply
  3. Nicci @ Changing the Universe says

    May 25, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    DBT is a wonderful form of therapy! I’m so glad it is working for you! Keep kicking ass, you are doing so well 🙂

    Reply
    • Linz says

      May 25, 2011 at 9:52 pm

      I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of it after 10 years (since i was 12, no joke) in therapy…. and it’s made more of a difference in THREE MONTHS than the last ten years. Seriously, it’s like someone just flipped a switch.

      Reply
  4. Jill @BabyRabies says

    May 25, 2011 at 9:35 pm

    Good work, sista! Keep it up. Sending you lots of happy vibes for the new chapter in your life, and can’t wait to see you in August!

    Reply
    • Linz says

      May 25, 2011 at 9:53 pm

      Thank you thank you thank you and omg i can’t want to get all up on that in Aug. Seriously. Are you bringing Leyna too? Cuz I wouldn’t mind some baby chub snuggle too 😉

      Reply

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