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Feeling my age

There’s this weird thing that happens to people in their 20s. And as a person in my 20s I feel it is my duty to educate the masses on this weirdness.

When you are in your 20s, it’s hard to know the difference between early, mid and late 20s. Sometimes you have flashes of for-real adulthood in your early 20s (such as I did when I bought my first house and had a mortgage at 21).

And sometimes in your late 20s, you’re in the middle of doing nothing important and you go “Holy crap. Am I really 29?? How is that possible? I cannot be older than 24. 29 feels so…wrong!”

Have you ever felt that? Because I feel that all the time. I feel like I don’t know what 29 is supposed to feel like.

I got out for a little toddler-free time to celebrate the 21st birthday of My Starfish last night.

Happy birthday, Erin! Love your face!

The whole time I was there I was feeling my age. This morning? I’m feeling it even more.

I don’t mean I’m feeling my age in that “OMG-I’m-so-hungover-I’m-never-drinking-again-because-the-recipe-for-vodka-has-changed-and-it-is-suddenly-much-stronger-than-it-has-ever-been-in-the-history-of-ever-and-it-cannot-possibly-be-that-my-tolerance-has-gone-drastically-down-since-that-frat-party-at-the-TEP-house-with-the-hunch-punch-9-years-ago” kind of way.

Though the latter is most definitely true. And probably not the former, but I would have no way of knowing that.

—And for the record I had two beers. And a birthday shot for Erin. Because I am a responsible adult now. With a child. And that’s what this post is all about. So no worries to those of you who think I went out last night and got myself all crazy. Because I did not. Anyway—

Last night was kind of surreal. I’m in my LATE LATE 20s. Nearly 30. And while I love Erin and would do absolutely anything for her, I couldn’t help but feel really out of place as the night went on.

At first, it was great because it was just a small group of people I’ve known for a while and have been introduced to on more than one occasion. (LOL! Love you, Starfish!) So even though I was older than most of them, it felt normal. The age gap was minimized by the fact that I’ve met these people before. I don’t feel my age around people I know. Even when my age is higher than theirs and they are the same age as my youngest brother. Or younger.

There was chatter and laughter and it was comforting to tell stories about people we all knew and to catch up.

It was one of those moments where in my head I was 23 or 24. Just older enough to be the “wise” one at the table. But young enough to be part of the group.

And then people I didn’t know started coming in and I just started feeling awkward and unsure of myself.

These people were people Erin works with. Erin is a server at a restaurant. Sometimes people in the restaurant industry are kind of like carnies. Only less freakish and a smidgen more normal. And with regular-people-sized hands. I think. (But not Erin. I can assure you that she is normal and so are her hands.)

Last night, there were sideways glances in my direction like “Who is that old person and what is she doing here?”

The point is that they don’t cotton to outsiders. And I? Am an outsider. And I felt like it.

In my younger days (::ahem::) I would’ve mingled. I would’ve struck up a conversation and found common ground. I would’ve met new people and by the end of the night, I would’ve felt like part of the group.

Last night, when the new people started arriving, I knew it was time for me to go. I knew that they would be out and up until way, way later than I’ve been awake without an infant or toddler in a long time.

I won’t lie. Part of me was a little saddened by this realization.

But then I came home to this house where there are Hot Wheels and Little People and the signs of a toddler in every corner. And I climbed into bed with a husband who loves me. And this morning, I woke up to the happy jabber of that toddler over the monitor and the hug of my husband.

And suddenly, 29 doesn’t feel so bad.

Y’all, don’t forget that April is Child Abuse Awareness and Prevention month. I’m Blogging for Children and hope you’ll join me. Get your post up and then on Friday, there’ll be a link up and a new challenge!

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Amanda G.

Monday 4th of April 2011

That's funny, I've had a similar blog post in mind. I know - I'm such a COPY CAT! LOL. I find 29 to be an interesting age. I definitely have those moments of, "OMG I'm 29?!?" But I kind of dig it at the same time. Every week I sit in my college English class with 18 - 20 year olds that know EVERYTHING. And I sit back and think to myself that they really don't know anything. Nothing. And you know what? I don't really know anything either. But the difference is that I have an awareness that I have much to learn, and the younger people in my class don't get it. I used to be just like them, I thought I knew how everything worked and suddenly a switch flipped where I realized how much I have to learn. I'd rather be here where I am now than in their shoes any day.


Tuesday 5th of April 2011

LOL! 29 is so interesting. I'm not "young" anymore, but I'm not "old" either.

Your perspective about being in class with 18-20 year olds is great.


Monday 4th of April 2011

I feel like this every time I leave the house to "party." I've never been big into parties in general, but now that I have a kid and another on the way? I want to be home with the kid and the husband, so we host a gathering of the closest friends every week. There are usually 8-10 people here, ranging in age from 20-37. And when we're all at my house? You'd swear there was no more than 5 years between all of us. At the ripe old age of 28, my idea of a party is dinner, movie, drinks, and home by midnight. ;)


Tuesday 5th of April 2011

I'd love to have people over more often. We're so spread out though that scheduling is difficult. If we all lived closer together? Yes, most definitely we'd see each other more.


Monday 4th of April 2011

I am so glad you posted this! I'm supposed to go out with a friend of mine this weekend. I'm almost 30 and she's turning 26. We're going to a bar and I don't know anybody else going. I'm already having anxiety about being a decade older than everyone else in the place. I'd much rather be home with my husband and kids, playing with Tonka trucks and reading stories!


Tuesday 5th of April 2011

Don't get me wrong, I do love to get out of the house and away from the toysplosion in my living room from time to time. But I've never felt my age until Saturday night.


Sunday 3rd of April 2011

...the age gap was minimized because you weren't the oldest person at the table!


Sunday 3rd of April 2011

Oh hush, you. :)

Thanks for going with me last night! I had a good time hanging out with you!


Sunday 3rd of April 2011

i like you and i think we should be friends. :) greetings - i like sarcasim, red wine, apparently making babies -almost 4 of them --ect.


Sunday 3rd of April 2011

Hi, Lynne. I can tell I like you, too. Sarcasm and red wine are right up my alley, but I'm unsure on the making of babies after the one I have!

Thanks for stopping by!

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