An article was linked on Facebook yesterday by another blogger (The Feminist Breeder, I think?) about picky eating children. You can go read it here.
Basically, it says that one of the ways mothers can ensure that their children avoid “the typical toddler ‘beige carbohydrate‘ preference, such as white breads, white rice, salt, and sugars” is by exposing them to different flavors while breastfeeding. Which is where my Failboat is coming home to port.
Joshua is an incredibly picky eater. I had to eat a restricted diet while breastfeeding him because of his milk allergy and then, when I couldn’t exclusively pump any longer and keep up with his demands, we switched to formula.
So now? I’m blaming myself for his picky eating.
I mean, it makes sense, right? (Yes. It does. And no. It doesn’t.)
And then there were all those veggies I pureed that he wouldn’t eat. Was it because I didn’t add seasonings? Should I have continued to push the issue on the meats and a wider variety of vegetables? Should I have started with tiny table foods instead of purees and done things differently?
I can’t change it now, but I sure am beating myself up over the woulda-coulda-shouldas.
Meal times are such an ordeal with him. His diet consists of cheese, peanut butter, Goldfish, bananas, a bite or two of apple, Gerber Veggie Dip puffs, French fries ( ::sadface::) and occasionally bread or tortillas. He will not eat a single meat. The ONLY protein he gets comes from peanut butter. His diet is pretty beige.
In fact, his diet is EXACTLY the kind of diet this article’s talking about as being bad for kids. And it’s the only diet my kid will eat.
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He won’t even pick new foods up and try them. Won’t even push them around on his tray. He’ll scream and cry until we remove the offending food and I can’t just listen to him scream and cry because then I want to scream and cry and that’s just not good for either of us.
This is all compounded by the fact that it’s nearly impossible for me to work all day, go to the gym in the afternoons, and get home with him in a time-frame that makes it reasonable for me to get dinner on the table so that we can try to feed him whatever it is we’re having. I can either go to the gym and not make it home with enough time for us to actually sit down to a family meal or not go to the gym after work.
Tonight we had a near meltdown because he had some veggie puffs and wanted more. Only I didn’t want to give him more because, despite the fact that the word “veggie” is in the title, they’re basically junk food and he hadn’t had anything of substance yet. But there are calories in them and the kid won’t survive on ice. Which is something he loves.
Ugh. I just want to cry.
I’m pretty freaking terrified that he’s going to be unhealthy because he won’t eat anything. Like I’m a huge screw-up as his mother because he hates food.
Have you had picky eaters who grew up to be good eaters? What did you do?
Am I doomed to always have a picky eater?
Am I just being irrational and ridiculous?
Help.
I have no helpful advice whatsoever, since my kid would live on Goldfish and Twizzlers if I let him. But I can assure you that I breastfed that kid until he was 16 months old and I ate TONS of different kinds of food – I especially love spicy stuff and fish – and it did nothing to improve his palate. We tried purees. We tried baby led weaning. I buy him so much fruit I’m going broke. Nothing seems to encourage him to expand his diet. So don’t let that stupid article make you feel bad.
Thanks, Suzanne. This is just so frustrating for me.
Don’t feel bad – seriously! Bella went through this phase just a few months ago – for what seemed like forever. Here I had lovingly prepared all her meals and cooked out of toddler cookbooks, only to have her throw them on the floor and scream till I gave her puffs. Or bread and butter. Talk about feeling guilty.
But then she grew out of it and eats normal for the most part. 🙂
I don’t even know that I’d ever know what normal is. This IS normal 🙁
Dude. All is good.
J eats anything now. ANYTHING. She was eating raw onion on request this week, and that’s something even I won’t try. I think just about ever toddler does what they want to do, and then eventually they get adventurous.
I BFed B until she was 2, and much of that time was restricted (dairy for a long time, gluten for a short time). She is an extremist (you know this kid) and swings from eating absolutely everything to exclusively peanut butter and triscuits. But you know what? She is healthy.
I have found that the less I push, the better she eats. If we’re all “oohing” and “ahhhing” over something she’s not offered? She wants it. Also, she wants to dip everything. Ketchup? Sure. Sour cream? Excellent. Peanut butter? Be my guest.
The point is, he’s a toddler. Let’s just all be glad SOMETHING is making its way into his body that is edible (and those things that aren’t supposed to be count, too…right?).
Thanks, Jenn. I mean, my J and B are basically the same kid, and she’s obviously fine. But when he’s whining for ice? OMG.
And dipping? We tried that. He likes to play with ketchup. It doesn’t exactly make it into his mouth.
I didn’t read that article, but I have always wondered because my siblings eat everything, while my mom and I are picky in all of the same ways. And I was the only breastfed one. But for every example like that, I’m sure there are examples that don’t support that theory. With two parents that love cooking and experimenting with food, I’m sure he will be fine. I’d say to keep offering them without pushing and he will surprise you one day. I dedicated a whole post today to the fact that Katelyn ate her meatball. We had our celebration and you will have yours one day, too!!
Yay Katelyn!! I’m so proud of her! When Joshua will TASTE something new, we’re doing backflips.
Felix is picky too. He would rather starve than eat something green, or healthy. I breastfed him until 10 months with only fruits and veggies and aside from fish a vegetarian diet. He also ate healthy home made baby food. All that jazz and he’s STILL picky.
Please don’t feel like a failure, I did the “right” things and got the same result as you. Each kid is different and will be regardless of breastfed or not. It’s hard to get over the guilt but you are a GOOD momma, please believe that.
Thanks, Schwandy. I know in my heart that there’s nothing I could have done to prevent this, nor is there anything I can do to make this any different, but it sucks to think that he’ll eat this ridiculously bland diet for the rest of his life and never enjoy the good stuff. Like creamed spinach. And yorkies and gravy. And pizza.
I think even when toddlers aren’t picky they are arbitrary. I am still (sort of) nursing Spencer at 19 months and I eat all sorts of things. He likes a lot, but his favorite today might be thrown in my face tomorrow. And for anecdotal evidence, neither my sister nor I were breastfed, I wouldn’t eat anything but cheese or white bread until I was 4, she ate everything. Now? I love food and she hates almost all food to the point where she only eats vegetables, fruit and fish. Every kid is different.
I like that. Arbitrary. Some days he’s all “GIVE ME GOLDFISH NOW NOMNOMNOM” and then the next day he screams if I come near him like the goldfish have suddenly turned into baby-eating pirahna.
First of all, take a deep breath. Is your child eating? Yes, good. That is what is important. I have two girls. The 6 year old was a great eater as a toddler…would eat everything. And now she doesn’t. My husband blames it on the introduction of sweets. I don’t know about that. My other daughter is 21 months. It is hard pressed to get her to eat meat. She loves her bread and mac and cheese. Do we keep giving her food that she won’t eat? Yes. Do we agonize over the fact that she won’t eat it? Not really. She is healthy and she is eating. More times than not she gets two good meals in her a day and she is good.
You are not doomed to always have a picky eater. Just don’t resign yourself to that fact. As with anything with having kids, this too shall pass.
Hope I helped a least a tiny bit. Remember to breath…
Angie
Breathing is good. I’ll keep doing that. And keep hoping that he’ll learn to love food.
Umm..Joshua’s diet is basically my 13 month old’s diet. Except add in Baked Cheetos..super healthy(not). He LOVES ice too..which I thought was just my boy. He eats cheese, bread, cheese bread, bread with cheese, peanut butter, mashed potatoes, puffs, yogurt melts..no meat. Easton was formula fed from the start and he ate every baby food fed to him, including meats. Now..nothing..nada..no meat. I just figure he can’t eat that way forever. My youngest sister only ate mac and cheese, pizza and spaghetti till she was about 10…now she’s a flax seed eating health nut. He’ll be okay. Don’t stress yourself over this. Feed him what he’ll eat, keep trying to introduce stuff..it will get consumed one day. 🙂
Mmmm, baked cheetos. Yeah, he’d totally eat those. Totally.
My philosophy on the whole picky eater situation is simple. Kids like to be in control – even when they are toddlers & while that young there are only 2 things they can control — when they eat and when the go to the bathroom. (that is why some struggle with potty training/changing diapers). Dont worry & dont feel guilty. (heres a post on my take: http://accustomedchaos.com/2011/02/i-dont-force-my-kids-to-eat-or-worry-when-they-wont/)
HUGS – you are not a bad mama!!!
(link never likes to work in disqus: trying again:
http://accustomedchaos.com/2011/02/i-dont-force-my-kids-to-eat-or-worry-when-they-wont/
♥
Thanks for sharing the link! I’m off to read it! And I’m not even remotely ready to begin potty training! EEK!
Yeah, that article is not all inclusive. It might work for SOME but not for everyone.
My 4 yo daughter is a perfect example of that article being a huge fail.
I eat so many different foods while breastfeeding. Mexican, veggies, you name it I’ll eat it! And as a baby Lizzie breastfed ALL THE TIME. Not kidding. until she was 6 months old it was every 1.5 hrs during the day and every 3 hrs at night.
She is a hugely picky eater and has been since day one, preferring my milk over anything else. (She weaned at 2 years old)
At 4 months she gagged on breastmilk with a tiny bit of cereal mixed in. At 6 months all she wanted to eat was bananas and crackers. At 9 months she only ate bananas, pickles and crackers. It wasn’t until she was a year old that she started liking anything with a texture. Ridiculous! She’d gag.
Today she eats so well, except for her veggies. My 22 month old son eats more veggies than her and he was only nursed to 14 months old. My experience kinda contradicts what they said.
So don’t feel bad. Every kid has a different set of taste buds……just keep teaching them why this food is good for them and someday they’ll get it!
Joshua hated texture as an infant. Hated. If the purees weren’t complete mush? No way, no how. I do like the idea of teaching him that food is good for him, or trying to teach him, and I know that some of this will fix itself once he has a better grasp on language and communication skills.
I was a RIDICULOUSLY picky eater, and I can tell Mac is shaping up to be one too. Like, up until about a year ago, I wouldn’t eat any cooked vegetables. There are still ridiculous food issues I deal with (e.g. I won’t eat meat on the bone) but my tastes expand every year and I become more and more adventurous (and healthy). Basically, while I may still technically be a picky eater, I’ve gotten much better and, more importantly, I’m perfectly healthy and always have been. I want a sickly child, I wasn’t overly tired. I was totally fine. Picky eaters happen, do not beat yourself up over it.
Neither Dan nor I are picky eaters. We eat tons of different kinds of foods and love experimenting and trying new things. I think that’s part of what’s makes this feel difficult for us.
Also, I just realized I wrote “i want a sickly child”…that should read “i WASN’T a sickly child”. My predictor text on my phone sucks.
#1 STOP beating yourself up. I see the point that the article is making, but my now 9 year old was TERRIBLE about eating and it had nothing to do with my breastfeeding because I only ate the specifics and drank water, and did EVERYTHING that the books told me to — first kid, biggest eating fail.
I started shredding chicken and salmon and mixing it with things he liked to eat – including it in his beans, I even hid it in his mashed potatoes. Small, almost not visible at first, then bigger and bigger. He eventually started eating just grilled chicken, then finally progressed to other things but I had to say it was chicken. At 3, he gave up veggies all together and only ate chicken nuggets! SERIOUSLY. Chicken nuggets and JUNK. I was terrified that he would be unhealthy, obsese etc… But he made it through – he still is very picky about veggies but he eats well and is healthy has a horse.
Also, this is terrible but if it gets him eating meat you can try Burger King’s Chicken Fries… They are cooked to look like french fries but it’s chicken strips!
I’ve thought about the chicken fries. Totally.
First, don’t blame yourself. You are not to blame for his picky eating. I was extremely picky growing up. I”m not obese, I eat LOTS of things now and I didnt have any dramatic health problems as a result of only eating pb&j for lunch for most of my school career. I do not put stress on Ryann with her food. It’s not a battle I’m going to fight. She will eat when she’s hungry and I can’t make her eat anything. I offer her relatively healthy options, and sometimes she’ll only eat goldfish. Not the worst, not the greatest. Food was a battle in my house growing up and I will not allow that to happen to our children. Ryann will not starve herself, and as I type this she went down for a nap without lunch…I wasn’t going to force her to eat when she could barely keep her eyes open. She’ll eat later, maybe a lunch or maybe just a snack. Seriously, letting go of the control of food and meals as made it so much easier. Also, I don’t prepare separate food for her, I offer her things I know she’ll like, if she doesnt eat then so be it. She can have an apple and I offer her food later. If she fills up on crackers, then so be it. Don’t focus on each day or meal, focus on the whole week…it’s easier to see that Joshua is getting more of what he needs in a week, rather than a day. Hang in there, don’t let this be a battle.
I really think that I have good days and bad days with food stress. Some times I’m all “Oh, he’ll eat when he’s hungry” and then there are other days, like this week, when he’s whining for something I know isn’t good for him and it grates on my nerves because I can’t get him to eat anything healthy first!
I would not describe my daughter as a picky eater, but when I put her plate in front of her? The FIRST things she eats are the “white” foods. Unless she sees brocolli first, anyway. Her milk, bread, cheese and chicken if it’s offered disappear before we’re even sure they were given to her, and then she slowly works her way through the other foods until she’s done. Every kid is different.
There’s a little boy friend of ours who just turned 6. He eats no vegetables and his only proteins are chicken nuggets and hot dogs. For breakfast he gets either a strawberry banana smoothie w/ Carnation instant breakfast or a chocolate banana smoothie w/ Ovaltine,
I would be happy if he would even TRY different things after eating what he likes!
We are living the same life here my dear, please don’t feel bad about it. I started the Fussy Eaters Support Club for just this reason. Sometimes just knowing you’re not the only one with a food hater helps. Please feel free to pop over and add this article to the club and come back as often as you like! If you don’t want to write a post but just want to rant (it helps!) email me and I’ll pop it up for you 😀 I http://bod-for-tea.blogspot.com/2011/03/fussy-eaters-support-club-march.html
A support group!?! YES!
Do you want to know the world’s most random thing? Darling Girl HATES bread. Of all kinds. She picks toppings off of pizza and leaves the crust, takes the middle out of sandwiches and leaves the bread, etc. If I try to get her to eat a little bread, she throws it at me. Otherwise, she eats surprisingly well and loves to try new foods. Unless those foods are anything resembling bread…
I shouldn’t even say he eats bread regularly. I can get him to eat tortillas more than I can get him to eat bread. But only if the tortillas are plain. He’d rather open a sandwich and eat the inside stuff and leave the bread on the plate.
Think of it like soothers and blankets and loveys and whatever else. He won’t go to college with it. Same with his eating habits – he’s little, and you’ll have lots of opportunities to encourage him to eat a variety of healthy stuff when he’s old enough to understand better why it matters.
My philosophy about eating is that toddlers won’t starve themselves – it helps me when my kid won’t eat much. Which he doesn’t, really – not nearly as much as you’d think he should given how hefty he is. Same with what they eat – they’ll be okay.
But otherwise, have you tried the tricky stuff? You can get pasta made out of veggies, which always made me feel better when he would only eat noodles.
But either way, don’t beat yourself up about it 🙂
Honestly, since writing this post, I’ve been able to settle down about it. Normally, I can be pretty low-key about the whole eating thing, but this week, for whatever reason, it just set me off!
I’ve tried some of the tricky stuff, but not much. I know he’ll eat Snapeas, which are baked-until-puffed snap peas. Supposedly.
Oh honey…stop right there. Kids are finicky eaters period. Chunky god love him, if it doesn’t come from a cereal box with alarge portion of said box containing marshmallows he’s a no go. But we keep attempting new things. He does eat a lot of meat though. Weird. It isn’t your fault Momma. You’re doing everything right 😉
Mmm. Now I wish I had Lucky Charms. Smart kid, that Chunky.
Cort was picky. Went for MONTHS only eating hot dogs (ew!). His mom took him to the doctor and he said that you can’t MAKE a kid eat and that he would grow out of it.
He did.
Eddie is sort of the same way. He is by FAR not a super picky eater, but there are weeks when all he will agree to eat is cheese and bananas and junk. We keep offering him a variety on his plate (fruits, veggies, proteins, dairy, and carbs). He tosses what he won’t eat to the floor, but somehow he is thriving.
And once in a while? He eats something he hadn’t eaten in forever. Right now we are high fiving that he is eating beans again. For now.
UGHHH you read my mind. I’ve been meaning to blog about this for a while. My kid used to be a great eater. Then she turned into….not so much. And now? The color green doesn’t make it onto her plate very often. It makes me feel horrible because I’M the mom and tell her what to eat.
Sigh. But she’s growing so I guess there is that…
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