Signs you need wine, or a vacation, or both

Case #1:

Tonight I actually uttered the words “This makes me just want to have the smelly kid” in regards to how difficult it is to bathe my child in the big tub.  I hate that our bathroom is designed so that the toilet is about 12 inches from the tub.  If Dan and I both want to be in the bathroom with Joshua during bath time, one of us has to squeeze between the tub and the toilet.  Since I’m the “bendy” one in this get-up, I’m the lucky winner.  That’s not even the big issue here.

The big issue here is that my child is about as coordinated as an elephant trying to dance in The Nutcracker.  I blame his lack of coordination on his father.  (Love you, Dan!)  I think that’s why he’s not crawling yet.  Or pulling up.  Or any of the other things I feel ridiculously obsessed with getting him to do. (Why?  I have no idea.  Anonymous–I’m talking to you here.  I fully realize that this obsession of mine is ridiculous and no, I don’t wish to wish away my child’s babyhood.  But I cannot help but compare my child to other children since I have no other children of my own to which I can compare my child.)

So this lack of coordination, coupled with his not napping during the day, makes it so that he’s one slippery, cranky mess of a baby.  He doesn’t want to sit up the whole time he’s in the tub.  He wants us to HOLD him in a standing position.  He doesn’t want to try and stand against the side of the tub, nor do I think it’d be safe to let him try that.  And he hates to have his hair washed or his face wiped or well, anything else cleaned up either.  In order to bathe him, I have to stand up and bend over the tub.  And he fights me tooth and nail and I’m afraid he’s going to crack his little baby skull wide open on the side of our tub.  This is about as much fun as I’d imagine a root canal to be.

So tonight, I actually said “This makes me want to just have a smelly kid.”

Case # 2

I seriously almost cried at the thought that him not taking naps is detrimental to his development.  I am that stressed about how my child doesn’t sleep.  And I’m tired because I only got four hours of sleep last night.  And I know that sleep is good.  And I don’t know how to teach my child that sleep is good.

I think the fact that I’m a teacher works against me when it comes to Joshua.  I have an understanding of childhood development.  I understand how sleep and nutrition and the right kinds of visual and intellectual stimulation work to help children, well, develop.  And I know that my child isn’t getting enough sleep.  But I don’t know how to help him get more sleep.

On the weekends, we have little to no trouble getting him to nap when we stick to a routine.  During the week, for.get.it.  He slept for a grand total of 50 minutes over two “naps” today.  This means that he woke up at 7:00 (after waking up for a bottle at 4:00am), and was up for TWELVE HOURS (with the exception of his “naps” of 20 and 30 minutes, respectively). 

One day when he’s an ornery teenager and he wants to shut himself up in his room and take naps, I will refuse to allow him to do so and will instead make him mow the yard or walk the dog or something.  No napping when I want you to=no napping when YOU want to, Buster.