I promise to stop with these stories soon, really. But this one is too good not to share.
Probably the thing that makes me most uncomfortable about pumping in public is the idea of being “caught,” or the building catching fire while I’m pumping and I can’t get out of the building and I die a horrible, firey death, or something equally catastrophic. Seriously, being walked-in-on is more devastating to me than forgetting the lids (or the fire…imagine the departmental lunches when a coworker has seen your breasts hooked up to a milking machine).
Today, I went into the book room to pump before the day started and while there I was checking my email and getting ready for the day. Just doing my thing…drinking my coffee…surfing the web…you know, the usual.
Suddenly, I hear keys jingling in the lock and the voice of one of the men in my department on the other side of the door.
REDALERTREDALERT!!! AAAAAHAHHHHAHAHAHAHAHH!!! REDALERTREDALERT!!! OMGWTF!!!
I SLAMMED my hand on the door, HARD, (seriously, my palm is still stinging half an hour later) and heard a female on the other side of the door go “AHHH!” Apparently, she didn’t expect the door to the book room to attack her. Male coworker started laughing at her reaction.
The moral of the story is:
It’s a pain to pump in a workplace that doesn’t have a designated place for women to pump. I guess it’s just not common (I’m only the second person in my department to pump while at work and only the third person that I know of in my entire building since I’ve been working here) so there’s no reason to have a designated place for me to go. So, I take over the book room three times a day for up to 20 minutes at a time and do what I need to do to feed my child. And I hope and pray that no one decides that THAT’s the moment he or she needs some new textbooks.
The result of this almost-over-exposure to my coworker is that instead of my usual 8 or 9 ounces in my morning pumping session, I only pumped 5. Couple that with the fact that today is going to be a really, really long day for me (seriously…I probably won’t be home until almost midnight…) and I feel like today is going to be a low-volume day.