I love you more than life itself. However, if you could please let go of my esophagus so that my food could digest without burning me, I would greatly appreciate it. The exit is not up. Trying to climb my esophagus, or lighting it on fire is not going to make you any more comfortable in there. In fact, it will make you less comfortable because I will no longer be able to feed you yummy things like pizza and tacos. Instead you will be limited to a bland, tastelss diet.
Please, please, please stop with the indigestion. Please.
I love you.
Mommy