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The BFP story

Now that I have some time, here’s the story of our first BFP.

I bought a two pack of FRER tests to take on vacation with us. I’d planned to start testing at 10DPO, which was Saturday. I started the spotting I’ve been having during every other cycle since coming off BCP on Friday evening. It was brownish and tissue-y, and not heavy at all. It still had me really bummed out though. I decided to lay down and read on Friday night and told everyone else I wasn’t feeling well. They were curious, but Dan shrugged them off telling them that I would be fine. I was really feeling depressed.

I got up on Saturday and snuck my pee stick into the bathroom, peed on it for the required five seconds, capped it, and then snuck it back into the bedroom. After three minutes, there wasn’t a line. At some point, a very, very faint line showed up (it looked almost hollow). Since I didn’t know if it had been ten minutes, I considered it a BFN.

M and L left on Saturday morning and K, J, DH, and I went to dinner later that night. I had about four beers (drink ’til it’s pink and all) and by the fourth beer, I was feeling really full. Like, “I’m gonna be sick” full. That never happens to me. I can drink Miller Lites all night long. Truthfully though, I didn’t really have much desire to drink all week last week. Our friends know we were TTC, so I just told them that I didn’t want to overdo it just in case. I still think the full/sick feeling was kind of weird for me.

When I woke up the next morning, I snuck the other pee stick into the bathroom with me. When I got back to the bedroom, I watched it like a hawk. I saw what I thought was a line come up on the test within the first three minutes. DH said that he wasn’t sure he saw it and I should just wait and test again in a few days. While I was packing up our stuff to go home, I kept picking up the pee stick and looking at it. I laid it down on a dresser underneath the window and when I looked down, I saw a line. I called DH back into the room and said, “I think we’re pregnant. I can see a line.” He said, “But it’s so light. Let’s just wait to test again.”

I stuck it into my bag with the other pee stick and went on packing our stuff. On the entire drive home from Florida, I kept thinking “What if that was really a line?” and “Oh my God, I’m pregnant,” but I didn’t really talk about it with DH since he clearly didn’t believe “a line is a line.” I just kind of kept my budding happiness to myself because it it wasn’t true, I didn’t want to get my hopes up.

When we got home, we unloaded the car and I dug out the pee sticks. I came walking back down the hallway holding the pee stick saying “Babe, I think we’re pregnant. This is a line.” And he says (again) “but it’s so light!” So, we went to the store to buy more tests. We got home and I took an Answer brand test. Bam! There was a line. Still, it was light, but he seemed to believe me a little more. We cooked dinner and I felt like he wasn’t excited, so I told him so. He assured me that he was happy, but that he was unsure since he’s never been through this before. (And I have???)

I told him I was going to go take a digital, and he followed me into the bathroom. I told him to set the stopwatch on his phone for 3 minutes, 20 seconds, and he did. I peed in a cup (Go DSC!) and dipped the stick for 20 seconds. It sort of freaked me out to see the hourglass working on the screen. DH and I started talking about something along the lines of “What if we ARE pregnant” and then I looked down (after about a minute and a half, tops) and there was the word: “Pregnant.” There it was. I squealed! DH finally believed the lines.

Since then I’ve taken the second Answer test, the second Digital, and a couple of Dollar Tree tests (which are crap, IMO). I’m going to keep taking the Dollar Tree tests until I get a quick, dark, firm positive. That little reveal window is so small you can hardly see anything!

When I went to the doctor in April, I scheduled a follow-up appointment for July. That appointment is tomorrow. The timing could not be better. I called the office on Monday to let them know that I’m pregnant and the receptionist said she’d update my appointment and add a “confirmation of pregnancy.” I hope it’s a blood draw for betas, and I hope they have me come back on Friday. I never thought I’d volunteer to have my blood drawn, but I’m scared of losing this baby and I will let them poke and prod me (almost) all they want to make sure this baby is safe.

I think I’m going to be fat-pregnant instead of cute-pregnant because I wasn’t able to lose any weight while we were TTC. I have to admit that scares me a bit. I know I shouldn’t be vain, but part of me (that nagging, bitchy, hateful part of me that I secretly can’t stand) is. I’m not skinny by any means, but I took a belly pic anyway. I’m kind of embarrassed to post it because it’s nothing but bloat and my normal poochy stomach. Hmmm, I’ll let y’all decide by posting a poll!

The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children. –Elain Heffner

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