I’ve been kind of discouraged with my body lately. I just feel disgusting. So, I have not wanted to have sex. I also have cramps constantly and that makes me not want to have sex. This not having sex thing is not working in my TTC favor.
I took my temp this morning and then went back to sleep. We were RUDELY awakened by someone ringing our doorbell at ten ’til seven (which made the dog bark uncontrollably) so while DH went to see who was there (no one…damn you person who rang the bell and left!!) I entered my temperature into my chart and lo and behold, my very first set of dotted crosshairs! ( http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/201867 ) When I said “Oh my god” and showed the chart to DH, he said, “Uh, what’s that mean?” so I told him it meant that the website/software thinks I might’ve ovulated. Maybe. He says “Well, we haven’t had sex in over a month.” True story.
Sad, I know. But after my last two “periods,” I haven’t been in the mood at all. I seriously feel bloated and disgusting and unattractive. I think what’s also working against us is that for the past two cycles, I’ve had signs that looked like ovulation was imminent and then I started a period. This “cycle” has really been no different.
I think he and I both are to blame for the not-having-sex. He has pretty much left initiation up to me since I have the nearly non-existent libido. However, sometimes what I need is a little coaxing. Sometimes that coaxing will remind me how long it’s been and that will make me more likely to go for it.
I have a friend who will regularly have sex just to keep her husband from getting cranky, whether she wants to or not. I cannot imagine having sex when I didn’t want to just because he would get cranky without it.
We’ve had this discussion before about our sex life, many times, in fact, but I feel like the issue never gets resolved. I don’t know what to do about my low sex drive. I just know that I’m not going to get pregnant if I don’t have sex.
I’m sure there’s going to be a lovely conversation about this when he wakes up. Not.fun.at.all.
It’s going to be a lovely Friday.