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Real Housewife Help

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As the conversation continues on yesterday’s post about whether or not I should (and can) make the leap from working mom to SAH, the conversation has to veer slightly toward my part-time dream job for TV Fanatic.

I need some help from my friends.

Tonight I’ll start covering Real Housewives of Orange County for their sister-site The Hollywood Gossip.

Except I know nothing about these women as my allegiances are firmly with Team Smalls and Kim over at the Atlanta housewives.

(I mean, MAYBE we talk about these women like we know them. And we certainly go “OMG! WE KNOW THAT PLACE!” when they roll past in their Escalades and Bentleys on the show. And by WE I most certainly mean me AND DAN since he’s the reason I started watching those crazy bitches friends in the first place.)

So, to lighten things up around here, I need a crash course!

Who are the villains? Who are the heroes? Who’s had the most plastic surgery? Who’s married for money and who’s married for love? Are any of them even married?

(Only two of the Atlanta housewives are currently married on the show, though three are married in real life. And one of them, I think, has never been married and is still a housewife. o_o )

Tell me everything you know about the Real Housewives of Orange County. Ready…set…GO.

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TheNextMartha

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

They refer to Gina too. Gina was a housewife who I liked but she was a bit of a meddler. Got into everyones biz. She is a realtor for that area and does quite well. She is team Slade for some reason and that causes issues with Tamara.

TheNextMartha

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

Oh. As far as allegiances: Vicki and Tamara tend to stick together. Gretchen and Alexis have hung together some but it doesn't seem like they're super close. Gretchen and Tamara pretty much go at each other every year.

Laura

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

But apparently this year Gretchen and Tamra are buddies much to the chagrin of both Slade and Vicki.

Ugh. Curse you Andy!!! Why do I know all this junk!

Miranda

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

This is helpful, too!

TheNextMartha

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

I am SO your girl for this.

I've watched since the beginning.

Vicki is the only original member left. She's high needs. Like a baby who has colic. She was on her 2nd marriage. Very unhappy. Always talked about her tank being empty. Has 2 kids. Girl who's a nurse. Probably the most normal on the whole show. Son who's a lazy ass and just mooches of his mom and works for her mom's company. Owns an insurance company and is self made. Very hard worker to a fault.

Alexis and her husband have the type of marriage where he's the boss. Very traditional. Like he's her master. She has 3 kids with a set of twins. At one point a few years ago she had 2 nannies for 3 kids. Took her 18 month girl twins for a manicure. Like at the salon. She likes to work out so right there she annoys me. Started her own clothing line. She was the model for it.

Tamra. Oh my does that girl have spunk. Probably the most like me. Has quite the mouth and says how she sees it. Gets her in trouble for sure. Probably the best sense of humor. Dating a hot younger guy after her marriage broke up. Has 4 kids one adult one from first marriage. He's sort of a drifter and causes issues. Used to be a real estate agent.

Gretchen. Got on the show and at the time was engaged to an 80+ year old. He died. He left her some money but not like millions. Left her his house. She's been dating this Slimy Slade. Slade has also dated 2 or 3 other Housewives. I dont' get it. He's sort of in a custody/child support mess with his ex. Gretchen started a make up line. Maybe handbags too. She's peppy and the only one that doesn't have fake boobs. I don't mind her much but she can be pretty catty.

Then there's a new girl. We'll see what drama she brings.

Miranda

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

This is amazeballs. Just like you.

Christine

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

Hi Miranda,

Congrats on doing the Housewives of OC. I review pretty much all of the rest of the Housewives for The Hollywood Gossip site. I've never watched this one and I just don't have the time to fit it in so I'm glad you're doing it.

Are they having you do the + / - points system with your review? Steve started that and fans seem to like it.

My only advice is to see if you can watch a couple of the last episodes from the previous season. Bravo will probably be showing them today. That way you'll have a bit of background to go on. Other than that just have fun with it. You're basically getting paid to make fun of these ladies and they make it pretty easy.

Enjoy yourself and if there's anything I can help you with just let me know.

Christine Twitter: @ProudTVJunkie

Miranda

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

I feel like I should've tidied up a bit before I brought home people from work!

Yes, I'm doing the +/- system, so I'm excited about that. Making fun of them will be no problem! I really just wanted to know a little about who I'd be making fun of first so I didn't spend the whole episode trying to figure out who's who.

Thanks for the help!

Mama Fisch

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

Vicki is just annoying. She uses the term "woo hoo" 1,000,000 times a day when she is drinking and it drives me bonkers. That's all I have for you...

Miranda

Tuesday 7th of February 2012

Woohoo! ;)

Thanks!

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