I graduated from my Master’s program yesterday. DH and I got up and drove to the college and on the way there, we passed the outlet mall. On the way back, we stopped for lunch where I just HAD to go to the Coach Factory Store. I walked out with two new Coach bags. True story. The deals were just too good! One is the Madeline bag in beige buckskin and another is a light blue bag with dark brown straps. I couldn’t make up my mind between the two of them, so DH let me buy both. I can’t believe I did that. I spent more money on myself yesterday than I have since I bought my wedding dress. At least I’ll get more use out of the Coach bags.
DH also took me out to dinner last night for graduation. We went to this restaurant called Morton’s, a steakhouse. It was GOOD! But, the bean wouldn’t let me eat all of my food. In fact, the bean hasn’t been letting me eat much at all. There are certain textures I just can’t stomach. Nothing smooth or creamy like mashed potatoes. My steak started making me queasy last night. This morning, I couldn’t finish even half of my scrambled eggs with cheese! I want to be able to eat, damn it! I’m not throwing up, but I’m not a puker, so that’s the only reason I can think of for not puking already. I just get to the point where I cannot eat anything else and trying just makes me feel bad.
Speaking of making me feel bad, I’m spotting again. The spotting returned this morning and it was heavier than it was when I went to the ER two weeks ago. It’s still dark brown, but it’s there. It’s been coming and going all day long, so I’ve been trying to stay off my feet and stay hydrated. I’m afraid to go pee. I’m not having any pains, but the spotting scares me. I know that I’m helpless in this situation and that if something is going to happen, it’s going to happen. But I’m still really scared. I don’t think DH quite understands my fear. He just tells me that if it’s brown and there’s no pain, I shouldn’t worry. That doesn’t make me not worry. I have a doctor’s appointment on Wednesday complete with ultrasounds, so I’m hopeful that it’s nothing and we’ll see the heartbeat then. If we see it, the risk of miscarriage goes down. Keep your fingers crossed that I can make it to Wednesday without having a meltdown and that we have good news on Wednesday.